Zombie Survival Guide

Survive the zombie apocalypseLet’s not beat around the bush here. You and I both know the zombie apocalypse is coming, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. All we can do is prepare for that day of reckoning. And prepare we must, because fuck zombies.

Do you want to have your head gnawed on by some undead assholes limping around groaning, “brains”? No, neither do I. That’s not my idea of a good time.

Instead, what I suggest is this: prepare yourself for the inevitable. That way, when the world as we know it comes to an end, you’ll be able to take care of yourself, and curb stomp some zombie bitches.

This is not all that difficult to accomplish.

Get a basic supply pack ready to go at a moment’s notice. Learn some survival skills like how to create fire, and make water safe to drink. Maybe learn how to garden so you can grow food in the zombie-free, walled cities of the future.

But, there’s one problem. If you start telling your friends and family that you’re doing all this prep work for the zombie apocalypse, they’re going to commit you to a mental hospital.

So, don’t tell them that.

Instead, this is our story: “You saw how useless FEMA was when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, and how hurricane Sandy devastated New York and New Jersey. If anything like that happens to us, I’ll be ready for it.”

That way, nobody will question your sanity. They might even respect your initiative – and without a doubt, leadership skills are going to be in high demand when the shit hits the fan. Maybe they’ll even join your cause.

Does this sound like something you could commit to?

I hope so. Because if you become a zombie I’ll have to shoot you in the face. Please don’t force my hand. It will be easier on all of us apocalypse survivors if we stick together.

First, you should sign up for the ZSG newsletter by using the box at the top right. That will keep you up to date and kick start your prep system.

Then, share this site with your friends and loved ones – remember that each informed and prepared person is one less potential zombie you have to slay.

Go, do it now, because the zombie apocalypse is coming faster than you know.

Photo credit: atomicpuppy